


Sometimes Healthy Isn't An Option

by scrawly_times



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Eating Disorders, Get rekt Sportacus, Health Issues, IBS, In which i project onto Robbie rotten, It's mainly poetic descriptions of nausea and no actual puking, Not all eating disorders are bcz of body image kiddos, Robbie is sick, Sick Fic, This is basically just Robbie being sick and yelling at Sportacus and cursing a lot, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-09-20 13:50:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9494252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrawly_times/pseuds/scrawly_times
Summary: Robbie is sick. He's always sick, it's not new, but he's an idiot who can't take care of himself and Sportacus just can't leave well enough alone when he finds the resident villain curled up on a bench too sick to stand up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Mostly a vent fic, tbh, bcz I have IBS and multiple chronic illnesses and a few physical and mental disabilities that really fuck with my ability to be active and eat healthy and just? Listen. I love Sportacus. I really do. But if I ever met him, I'd punch him in his fucking face, because fuck that "all you need to do is eat right and exercise" Bullshit
> 
> Go get him Robbie

“Robbie? Robbie are you okay?”

“Go the fuck away.” There were gasps and Robbie groaned. Of _course_ the children were there to see him this miserable.

“Robbie?”

He felt a hand on his shoulder, probably about to try turning him over. He growled and burrowed his head further into his arms.

“Don't. Even. _Dare_.” The hand snapped away and Robbie gritted his teeth. “Don't.”

“Robbie, can you tell me what’s wrong?”

God, Sportaloser sounded _concerned_. He really didn’t need to. “Just… go away. Let me relax.” Robbie’s voice sounded out of breath. Which he was, actually, because he was having a bit of a hard time breathing without making everything worse. Shallow breaths helped but made it hard to do something breath intensive like _talk_.

“Kids, please go find something quiet to do.” Robbie heard the hero ushering the children away, probably to go play video games. He knew it was too much to hope that Sportacus would leave him _alone_ , especially when he felt a hand on his shoulder again. “Robbie, please, let me help you.”

“Nothing to help.” Robbie groaned and felt like the bench he was curled up on was moving. Of course, it wasn’t, and he _knew_ it wasn’t, but try telling his stomach that.

“Robbie-”

“Sporta… Sporta _jerk_ , if you don’t leave me alone this second,” He tried to sound threatening but couldn’t put any force into it and just sounded _pathetic_. “I am going to turn over and _puke_ all over you.” He couldn’t actually do that of course, he rarely ever did, and there probably wasn't much _to_ … oh wait.

“So it’s your stomach? Do you have a fever?”

“Oh for fucks sake..!” Robbie felt like his stomach was settled enough to uncurl a little bit and open his eyes, glaring at the wooden slats of the bench. “I know what it is, just leave me alone. And no I don’t have a fever!” He batted weakly at the hand trying to feel his forehead.

“If you know what it is why are you out here? You should be at home if you're feeling sick.” Sportacus of course didn't give in, feeling the side of his face and humming. “You don't _seem_ to have a fever…”

“That's what I just _said_.” Robbie groaned. “I just haven't eaten in a while, I got too nauseous while walking somewhere and had to lay down. I'll just go home in a bit and eat some cake or something.”

“Robbie,” He almost wanted to sit up and turn around just to look at the surely pained look on Sportacus’s face. “You need to eat something without so much sugar if you're so hungry that you're getting so nauseous you can't _stand_. Some real food, sportscandy-”

Robbie felt a deep surge of anger well up inside him and didn't bother biting it down for once. He even mustered the strength to sit up - ignoring the terrible, nasty _swirling_ in his stomach - and twist around to _glare_ at the single cause of about 90% of his agitation the past year or so.

“Listen here, you _ignorant health nut_.” Robbie poked a finger at Sportacus’s chest, taking a malicious glee in the wide eyed look of surprise and confusion on his face. “You think that _any problem_ someone has can be solved by just _eating healthy_ and _doing a little exercise_. Well guess what? _That's not the fucking case._ ”

Robbie was very, very glad that the children had left because this rant was a _long_ time in coming and he really didn't want them to be around language as foul as he wanted to let loose on this _walking headache_.

“You flip around at the _peak of health_ , fucking around, telling all these kids that all they've got to do to be _healthy_ is just eat an apple! Take a fucking jog! But that's _bullshit!_ ” Robbie waved an arm angrily, trying his hardest to ignore the dizzying sensation of wanting to lay back down. “Has it _ever occurred to you_ , just once in your _brilliant fucking life_ , that not everyone WANTS to exercise? NO! And even _worse_ , you're _so_ convinced of your _stupid ass message_ that you don't even fucking THINK of people who CAN'T!”

Robbie breathed heavily, holding his stomach and wavering as everything spun around him. Sportacus was so shocked that he barely had the sense to reach out, wanting to help, but Robbie smacked his hand away with a breathless snarl.

“No! I don't want your _help!_ You think that you can just smile and offer me an apple and I'll feel _all better_ but guess what you fucking dick?!” Robbie shoved at him weakly, trying to force him away but mostly unsuccessful. “I'm SICK! I'm _chronically_ sick! _Eating_ makes me fucking sick! It _hurts!_ Just to _eat!_ At least I can _stomach_ sugary sweets and cake, at least when THAT makes me sick it's _manageable!_ Do you know how fucking _terrible_ it is to not be able to eat _anything at all_ without being sick?! And your stupid fucking _sportscandy_ makes it even _WORSE!_ ”

Robbie lurched to his feet, wanting away from Sportacus, wanting to go _home_ where he could lay down without _stupid heroes_ bothering him about things _nobody could fix_. He needed to go home and nibble on sugarcookies until his stomach was a little less empty from forgetting to eat for- how many days?

Robbie wanted to scream. Why did he _do_ this to himself? Normal people didn't just _forget_ to eat! It was stupid he was such a fucking _idiot-_

“Robbie, I-I…”

Looking up finally, Robbie saw how _hurt_ Sportacus looked. Did he even look _guilty?_ No, impossible, heroes didn't feel _guilty_ for being their overly positive insulting selves.

Robbie did feel a smidgen of regret for letting loose on him like this, though he swept that aside with the knowledge that Sportajock _needed_ to hear this because what if a _child_ with chronic illnesses showed up? What _then_ huh? Robbie shuddered at the mere thought of the chaos that could ensue.

“I'm sorry, Robbie, I-I didn't know.” Sportacus swallowed, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Well now you _do_.” Robbie breathed. He wanted to come up with some sort of better comeback, something snarky and biting, but he was too nauseous to focus on more than getting home. He wasn't going to spend one more minute in Sportaloser’s presence.

“Please, just-” Sportacus reached out towards him nervously, looking incredibly conflicted. “Let me help you get home, at least, _please._ ”

Robbie’s anger drained out of him looking at the pale, worried face of his rival. He was too nauseous to be feeling all this. Robbie sighed and scowled halfheartedly.

“I can walk perfectly fine, thank you.” He set off at a slow, steady shamble that didn't shake his stomach too much. Sportacus hovered unsurely. “Oh _go away_ already. I'm sure if I pass out or something your crystal will let you know.”

Sportacus looked like he might burst something. “Do you… pass out often?” He asked tentatively. Robbie facepalmed.

“No! I mean, I _wish_ , sometimes, but- stop giving me that look! I'm too exhausted to hate you right now.” Robbie ground out. “Just… leave me _alone_.”

Sportacus, of course, didn't. He trailed behind Robbie awkwardly the entire slow shamble back to his lair. Robbie ignored him as best as he could while hobbling and trying to not make his stomach any worse.

He flipped Sportacus off as he slammed the hatch down. He had to just climb down the ladder, too nauseous to stand the slide down the chute. It took much longer than he wanted to be standing up and Robbie ended up stumbling awkwardly off the final rung and shakily settling down into his chair.

“How about I never ever go up on the surface again.” He groaned. “Sportabother is _never_ going to leave me alone after that…”


	2. He Didn't Mean It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sportacus tries to apologize and Robbie is both too tired and stressed out to fight him on this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is human Robbie so haha not the same kind of reasons for his stomach problems as I usually give him

The baked goods aisle; the best place in LazyTown in Robbie’s eyes.

It was probably one of the best stocked parts of the store. Supply and demand was selective when you had a population as small as LazyTown, and Robbie was their best customer.

He stocked up on mostly flour and decorating supplies, giving the pre made cake mixes a dirty look. Nasty things, those. Nothing like a truly original cake!

Between the boxed mixes and rip off icings there were, of course, some of his favorite things: Sprinkles.

Normal sprinkles, grain sprinkles, star sprinkles, rainbow sprinkles, glitter sprinkles; they had it all! There were edible decorative sugar pearls next to icing nozzles and some forlorn looking packs of candles. Robbie picked up one that spelled out “Cheer Up!” and threw it in his cart. That one would be nice to melt into a disgusting puddle.

Robbie loved the sheer variety of sprinkles and cake decorations available at the baking aisle. He ended up buying at least one of each that he didn't already have and a few extra rainbows. You could _ never _ have enough gay cake.

There was just one problem.

“Louise!” Robbie said sharply, tapping his cart’s handlebar.

A young woman in her mid twenties looked up and leaned on her mop’s handle, giving him a small smile.

“Yeah, Robbie? What is it?” His favorite worker said.

“Where are the icing decorations? The..” He snapped his fingers impatiently. “The little tools and the characters and th- the silly little designs they come in!”

Louise frowned and set her mop against a shelf, walking over to look herself. “I don't know, you're the only one who ever buys them until they go on clearance… oh no, that's right.” She held a hand up to her forehead and bit her lip. “We had a bunch of boxes not show up in the shipment the other day. They must have been with them. And the old ones were put in clearance already, and… oh I'm sorry, let me go check and see if there's any we didn't get put out yet. It's kind of been a mess since Jesse moved out of town.”

Robbie sighed and pushed his cart to the clearance aisle while Louise ran off. She was a sweet girl, really, but he already knew if they weren't out in the store they wouldn't be there at all. And the clearance aisle was pretty much cleared out already as usual. LazyTown liked their deals.

Louise came back a few minutes later apologizing and he waved her off, not really feeling up to talking anymore. She promised to add them to the short list to order as soon as possible then call him, and he felt a little better.

It felt stupid to get upset over little figures made out of sugar. But they were his _ favorite _ . Whenever he was feeling particularly shitty he made a cake and covered it with them. It at least made him laugh at how ridiculous it was to eat a cake covered in tiny wrenches and screwdrivers.

The only ones he had left now were flowers that he'd only gotten because they were rainbow. At least he had that candle to melt… it would be a good metaphor for his life. 

“Don't forget to bring the cart back tomorrow Robbie!” Louise said when he was headed out the door. He waved a hand and pointed at her. 

“Don’t wake me up if you get bored and decide to come get it, it'll be outside.”

“Once! That happened  _ one _ time and you never let it go.” Louise mock pouted at him.

“Normal people don't use their thirty minute break to run a mile and coast down a hill on a shopping cart on the way back!” Robbie yelled at her just before the door closed. He could still hear her laughing through the sliding glass.

“Oh um, hey Robbie.”

Robbie shrieked and jumped a foot in the air, hands creaking dangerously around the handlebar when he came back down to earth.

“Sportaflop?!! What the hec-  _ hell _ are you doing scaring me like that?!” Robbie clutched at his chest. He'd changed to an actual curse word once he saw that children weren't around. “What do  _ you _ want?” He ground his teeth, trying to decide whether he wanted to be frightened, angry, or embarrassed. His blow up on Sportanut the other day was still ringing through his head.

Emotions sucked, he still couldn't figure out if he was _ glad _ to have said all that or _ guilty _ . Except no, why the fuck would he feel guilty? The elf deserved every word.

Sportacus stood there awkwardly, biting his lip. It made his mustache wobble goofily and Robbie raised an eyebrow scathingly.

“Well? Spit it out!” He snapped. “I've got cakes to bake.”

“I'm really sorry-” Sportacus said in a rush, blurting it out and then blushing. “About the other day? And kind of overall, everything…” He rubbed the number 10 on his chest absentmindedly. “You were right, to be mad at me. If I were in your shoes…”

The hero looked so goddamn miserable it made Robbie want to run home and pretend this entire week had never happened. Fuck it.

“It wasn't…  _ entirely _ your fault.” Robbie grumbled. Damn emotions, making him feel bad. “I was sick and grouchy and in no mood for civil words.”

“It  _ was _ my fault though.” Sportacus protested. “I didn't stop to listen to you and ask what was really going on. And I want to fix that.”

Robbie narrowed his eyes, clutching the shopping cart. “And that's supposed to mean..?”

“Could you tell me how I can help? Without intruding or being rude or-” Sportacus cut himself off, breathing deeply. “I want to… to at least know what  _ not _ to do. So what happened the other day doesn't happen again.”

Robbie gave him a calculated look and eventually groaned overdramatically, leaning over the grocery cart. 

“You're serious, aren't you.” Sportacus nodded solemnly. He visibly restrained himself from looking too pleading. “Uuuuggghhh.  _ Fine _ . But not right now, I've got refrigerated foods to get home before they melt or go sour.” Also he didn’t want to just… talk about this junk out where anyone could hear him. He already knew he was pathetic without everyone ELSE knowing too, thank you. Robbie huffed and began pushing his cart along the sidewalk. “Well? What are you waiting for? Come on!” He snapped. Sportacus perked up and skipped over to bounce next to him.

* * *

”Alright, first things first.” Robbie slouched in his chair, Sportacus standing nearby after watching Robbie put groceries away. (And being chased off from helping.) “You? Cannot  _ fix _ anything. It doesn't work like that.”

Sportacus winced but nodded.

“I just want to help anyway I can.” He offered, almost shyly. Which really, made Robbie feel even _ worse _ , because Sportacus of all people wasn't supposed to be _ shy _ . “I'll try not to be a bother with it.”

“And I pray you _ don't _ .” Robbie grumbled, running his fingers through the chair to ground himself. “Okay so… to sum stuff up... ‘sportscandy’ makes me sick. My stomach and intestines react  _ horribly _ to it. Kind of like lactose intolerance, but worse. Adding onto that,  _ everything _ makes me nauseous. Eating is horrible. But I  _ really like cake,  _ so eating that means the nausea is at least tolerable. And sugary sweets don't actually _ hurt _ like healthy foods do.”

Robbie said this all casually while lounging back in his chair and looking at the pipes in the ceiling. When he looked back Sportacus looked frankly horrified, though trying to restrain his facial expressions. To the elf’s credit he had his mouth firmly shut the whole time to stop himself from interrupting.

“Everything?” Sportacus said and swallowed. “Everything really makes you sick?”

“That's generally the case.” Robbie deadpanned. “I have ‘good phases’ where my gut is less of an _ ass _ , but those are rare. Which is why I forget to eat… like, a lot.” Sportacus looked even more horrified. “Don't give me that face! My stomach’s  _ always _ hurting so I can never tell the difference between normal shit and hunger pains.” Robbie crossed his arms and huffed, sinking into the chair and trying to not feel horribly embarrassed. What kind of person _ forgets to eat? _ He knew that was weird and creepy, thank you, he didn't need Sportacus rubbing it in his face.

“So… could I help by reminding you to eat?”

Robbie almost immediately scoffed and started to deny it, but then his face scrunched up as he actually processed that. “Urgh… it might. Usually I try to remind myself but…”

Why didn’t he just set alarms to remind himself? Oh right, he didn’t have a solid sleep schedule. He could be up for several days in a row on multiple occasions and only crash when it was convenient. Alarms would quickly be destroyed in a fit of rage if they happened to go off at the wrong time.

“It’s easy to forget, if you’re feeling sick all the time.” Sportacus seemed to have cheered up a lot just from the one idea. “I can ask you if I see you, if you’ve eaten that day? And maybe check up once in a while…”

“Maybe not.” Robbie droned. “If you try to knock on my hatch while I’m sleeping I  _ will _ throw a wrench at you.”

“Noted.” Sportacus said, laughing awkwardly. “I… I promise to stop trying to get you to eat sportscandy. I’ll tell the kids they shouldn’t press you either.” Sportacus said and smiled at him. Robbie made a face. “You should come up to visit more often though! The kids eat sweet snacks all the time, just usually after their sportscandy. They’d be glad to share.”

Robbie looked at him suspiciously. “...sure. I’ll think about it.” He said dully.  Sportacus beamed like he’d already agreed. “Now get out, I’ve got things to do.” A nap sounded good right about now and he was just nauseous enough that it MIGHT just be enough to sleep off.

“Alright Robbie! I’ll see you some other time!” Sportacus was careful to not flip around any, since the lair was a mess right now, and Robbie groaned when the elf finally hopped his way up the ladder.

“I’m never going to get rid of him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Figured I might as well wrap this up, also wanted to do a little drabble about Robbie's love for cake toppings anyways so..?? probably messy but lol

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact the title of this on Google docs is "sportacus imma fite u"
> 
> Anyways this was actually mostly brought on by me making this post here on tumblr: http://scrawly-times.tumblr.com/post/156327970021/okay-so-just-i-have-a-lot-of-feels-about-robbies
> 
> I really hope you guys enjoyed? If you're like me and really wanted Robbie to yell at Sportacus over stuff?? Um. I'll probably actually make a follow up with Sportacus wanting to help Robbie and asking more about it to be Informed and reminding him to eat whenever he forgets


End file.
